“I was referred to Polaris Counseling by my doctor, as the strain of marital difficulties had gotten to a point where it had taken a toll on my physical health. My husband and I had been to counseling before, and I was not particularly optimistic that this time would be any different or more successful. I think the only reason I was even going was to be able to convince myself I really had tried everything before I gave up on our marriage.
I suspect my husband was even less motivated to go, as he is a “regular guy” who was unsure of the value of counseling for any reason, let alone something he might have to fix in his own life. It was very early on, however, when it was clear to me that this would be less of an issue with James as our therapist. He was exceptionally good at bringing an objective point of view to our situation, without putting either of us on the defensive. I’m quite sure each of us started with the attitude that our problems were largely if not entirely the other’s fault, but James was able to show each of us areas we needed to work on. Neither of us felt like he had ever taken the other person’s side – which was a criticism my husband had made with prior therapists.
It is often said that in therapy, things get worse before they get better. I can honestly say, however, that I noticed an improvement in our communication very early on in the therapy process – perhaps after only a few sessions. James has a very calming influence that diffuses the animosity that invariably arises in these situations. While therapy certainly wasn’t fun, especially early on, it wasn’t something that my husband or I ever dreaded either. I think we could sense that there was possibly hope where we previously thought there was none.
Three years later, my marriage is so improved from what it was when we came to Polaris Counseling that it is barely recognizable. My husband and I celebrate our 17th anniversary this summer, and we have never been happier!”